Why I'm Now a Weird Al Yankovic Fan

My thanks to Claire Brantley, who called my attention to these important public service videos:

Active April

Could this weekend have been more fun? Doubtful. The only way to top off two day's worth of outdoor activities would be to dress up, drive to Macon and attend a lovely portrait unveiling ceremony. So that's what we did.

Davis and Lawson had a blast--literally. After all our Fiestaware has arrived and took residence in our kitchen, we boxed up our old Wedgwood, took it out to the farm, and used it for target practice. Barbara and Sabra thought we were crazy, but we sure had a lot of fun, and even Sabra eventually admitted to the entertainment value of blasting bone china. Look at Lawson blowing that platter to smithereens! What could be more fun that that?

Well, I'll tell you. It's a cocktail cruise on the newly upholstered pontoon boat. With vodka tonics in hand, we all loaded up and took a cruise around the pond, taking care not to disturb the fish around Harley and Nichole's boat. We saw trees, blue herons, and more trees.

But wait! There was more! After retiring to the house in town, Hannah took the younger grandchildren on a cruise of their own--around in a lawnmower-pulled wagon. What fun they had, at least until an unfortunate collision with a spigot, which temporarily left the homestead without water. Thanks to Stephen's and Hugh's ingenuity, the drought ended just before supper.

Monday morning saw us dressing up for a trip to the Macon federal courthouse, where Hugh's portrait was unveiled. In front of 150 of Hugh's closest friends, the U.S. District Court took the opportunity to honor one of their own, and Hugh took the opportunity to insist, "No, I'm not retiring."

Hugh may not be retiring, but Harley did. After all the fun and celebrating, he was worn slap out.

Lawson's Birthday Cake: The Tunnel of Fudge

It's funny that although I can remember what presents I got for some of my birthdays, I don't remember any of my birthday cakes. I know I had them. I remember having birthday parties and blowing out candles. I just don't remember the cakes. Of course, those were the days when we invited kids to come to our house. We put on those little paper cone hats with the elastic string around our chins. We played pin the tail on the donkey and drop the handkerchief before cutting the cake and opening presents. The whole occasion lasted a couple of hours, and then everybody went home.

Back then nobody went to Chuck-E-Cheese or took their friends to play putt-putt or go bowling. Birthday parties, compared to today's fetes, were especially low key.

Except for my eleventh birthday. For that birthday, my mom took me, my siblings, and ten of my closest friends to the Macon Mall, the home of Farrell's restaurant and ice cream parlor. Just inside the door of Farrell's was a candy store. In the dining room, customers could order burgers or sandwiches, but their specialty was dessert. Their biggest dessert was The Zoo, which was simply a punch bowl filled with scoops of fifty different flavors of ice cream. See that bowl on top of the thing those guys are holding up? That's the punch bowl full of ice cream. When I turned eleven, my mom let me have a zoo party. And although nobody showed up wearing a gorilla mask, my zoo party was much more exciting than the one shown to the left. My party lived up to its name. Thirteen kids descended on that punch bowl like they hadn't eaten for weeks. The waiters and waitresses blew horns and beat on a big bass drum. Other customers stared at our table. And then at some point, Jill Hardin got a little carried away and set off the fire alarm.

Good times.

Now my baby boy is eleven, and while I didn't take him to Farrell's for dinner, we did invite a couple of friends over and his extended family. So in a way, we had our own version of a zoo. Stephen cooked filet mignon, and I cooked baked potatoes, stuffed mushrooms, green beans, and mozzarella caprese. Yum.

But the piece de resistance was his birthday cake: the Tunnel of Fudge. Lawson browsed The Chocolate Cake Doctor cookbook and selected this chocolate delight. According to this cook book, the Tunnel of Fudge was the winner of the Pillsbury Bake Off several decades ago. At the time, the baker made the creamy fudge middle out of a packaged chocolate icing mix, which is no longer available. So the author of the cook book, Anne Byrn, tried her own version, and after several unsuccessful attempts, called Pillsbury for assistance.

"Try pudding," they suggested.

She did. And the Tunnel of Fudge was reborn.

The whole time I was baking Lawson's birthday cake, Bruce Springsteen's song "Tunnel of Love" played in my head. It's become a 36-hour earworm that probably won't go away until the whole cake is gone. While it would be fun to revise the Boss's lyrics to suit the cake I made, it's probably easier to recognize that after all the time and effort I put into Lawson's birthday cake, it's a different kind of Tunnel of Love.

We made our way through half the cake tonight, but tomorrow my boys will have to eat it breakfast, lunch and dinner. I'm trying to count my Weight Watchers points, and it's kind of hard to do that with this fudgy delight calling my name from under the cake dome.

Happy birthday, Lawson!

Chicken and Asparagus

This morning, I finally bit the bullet and went back to Weight Watchers. Since last October, I've been mistakenly telling myself I can maintain my weight without all that pesky points counting and meeting-going. But I was not as good as Sabra, who has now become a Weight Watchers leader (yea, Sabes!). Instead, my shorts got a little too tight. I guess those breakfasts at Cutter's Point and glasses of wine while cooking dinner caught up with me. I sure had fun while gaining ten pounds, but now it's time to take them off again.

Upon my return to the Weight Watchers meeting (where I discovered that all my old pals were returning after a six-month break as well), I received (in addition to the pleasant surprise that I'd gained back only ten pounds) a neat recipe for chicken and asparagus.

At only five points per serving (six if you add a serving of roasted potatoes, which I did), this meal provides protein and vegetables in one pan. And it's actually filling too.

Ingredients:
Olive oil nonstick spray
1/4 cup honey-Dijon mustard
2 Tbsp chopped fresh tarragon or 1 tsp dried (I used dried)
3/4 tsp salt
1/2 tsp black pepper
2 bone-in chicken breasts (3/4 pound each) skinned
1 lb baby carrots
1 lb fresh asparagus, trimmed

Because I was feeding my whole family, I doubled this recipe.
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Spray 9 x 13 baking dish with olive oil and nonstick spray. However, if you double the recipe like I did, the 9 x 13 dish won't be big enough. Get a bigger one. I learned that the hard way.

Mix mustard, tarragon, salt, and pepper in medium bowl. Add chicken and toss to coat. Place chicken, breast side up, in center of baking dish. Add carrots to remaining mustard mixture in bowl. Toss to coat. Place carrots around chicken. Lightly spray chicken and carrots with olive oil nonstick spray and roast 25 minutes (because I doubled the recipe, I roasted for 35 minutes). Add the asparagus to baking dish, stirring to coat. Roast until chicken is cooked through and the vegetables are tender, about 10 minutes (I didn't believe that was enough time to cook the chicken, so I cooked the chicken a little longer). Discard bones and slice chicken. Serve with vegetables.

I served my chicken with the carrots and asparagus, but I also roasted some potatoes in olive oil and cooked some green beans because if I didn't cook those beans, they'd go bad in the fridge.

Verdict: I was the only one to eat the carrots. Not a big surprise. Lawson said he enjoyed his, but he couldn't eat it all (If it were chocolate chicken, he'd have had no problem). Davis and Stephen said they liked it too, but I couldn't help noticing they covered their chicken with Miss Alma's. Still, they cleaned their plates. I thought the chicken was right tasty on its own. No Miss Alma's for me. And the carrots and asparagus were good too.

So Weight Watcher fans, I think this meal is a keeper. You can add it to your Weight Watcher's e-tools recipe list. I know I will. And maybe in just a few short weeks, I'll be as thin as Jennifer Hudson.

Three Months

At New Year's I wondered how long I could cook dinner with no repeats. I now have the answer to my question: three months. Actually, I could have gone a little bit longer. I never made a plain old pot of spaghetti (I was saving that dinner for a night when I had no time or no other options), my shrimp stew or breakfast for dinner. But as March turned lamb-like, I began to miss some of the dishes I made back in January. I still have a standing rib roast in the freezer that needs cooking. And I haven't had lamb chops (my favorite meal) in months. I'm ready to repeat some meals.

Although I'll now go back to cooking lamb chops, rubber mallet chicken and pot roast, I'll now have a larger repertoire to work from. I'm so glad I tried out the chicken crepes (even though they didn't work out) and the braised rabbit (YUM!). And I'll still try new recipes (and write about them) from time to time. But as of now, April 2, I will declare the Remler Menu project finished, and my blog postings will include my perspectives on topics other than food.

I hope you'll keep reading.

Baloney Stew

My grandfather, Roger Lawson, loved to cook. Some of my earliest memories are of going to my grandparents' house to have pancake breakfasts or frog leg dinners. Although no one could duplicate Roger's culinary skills, he often shared his recipes. And sometimes my father would try his hand at them himself. To keep this classic alive, Dad submitted for the "Men Only" section of the cookbook of the First United Methodist Church of Hawkinsville, Georgia (1992 edition). It's the perfect dinner for tonight.

Baloney Stew
3 lb. bologna
2 med. onions
1 med. bell pepper
1 can LeSuer peas
Tabasco sauce
6 carrots
1 large can Niblets corn
2 med. cans stewed tomatoes
2 large Idaho potatoes
Worcestershire sauce
1/2 stalk celery

Dice bologna into 1/2" blocks; symmetry is important and attention to this detail will enrich the flavor of the stew. Place bologna blocks into a large pan, cover with non-flouridated spring water and soak at low heat. Meanwhile, slice cut carrots into little round pieces about 3/8" thick; cut celery into little pieces (size not important); and reduce potatoes to bite-sized chunks. Stir carrots, celery and potatoes into pot with meat. Cut onions (peel if desired) and place in pot. Cut bell pepper into 9 pieces and place on top of onions. Add corn, tomatoes and peas. If you have any okra, put that in too. Fill pot with water; add some Wooster sauce and shake the bottle of Tabasco 2 or 3 times inside the pot. Add salt and pepper to taste. Cook for a while, stirring infrequently. Stew is done when it feels right. Serves 22 ladies, 8 men or a dozen small boys. Note: If stew is too thin, throw in a couple of handfuls of Cheerios and some grits. Cheerios will thicken it up faster, but grits give it more body.