Stephen and the Member Member

Many Saturday mornings, if the weather is good, Stephen likes to go to the Wilmington Island Club to play golf in the Saturday blitz. Sometimes he plays well; other times he plays not so well. But he's pretty good. And he's made a lot of friends on the golf course.

Unfortunately, when this fall came around the club announced that its member-member tournament would be the weekend of October 8th. We already had plans to take the kids to Six Flags, so Stephen didn't sign up for the tournament. But then the club changed the date of the tournament. As it turned out the weekend of October 8th occurred during Rosh Hashanah, so out of respect for its Jewish members, the club post-poned the tournament to this weekend. Fortunately, Stephen was available on those dates. Unfortunately, all the members he knew in the club had already partnered up for the tournament. He called his golf buddies, who called their other golf buddies, to find out if anyone needed a partner.

Fortunately, Shammah Baloch's partner got a hernia. Well, it wasn't really all that fortunate for Shammah's partner, but it was fortunate for Stephen--and Shammah too, I guess. So Stephen stepped in a week or so prior to the tournament. And for his birthday, which was the Thursday prior, he bought himself two new golf clubs.

All was well.

Stephen attended the tournament dinner Thursday night, and he reported that a number of participants took advantage of the open bar. So he felt good about his chances for Friday's match. What's more, Shammah went out and bought himself and Stephen these Power Balance bracelets, which are supposed to give them, well, power and balance. Stephen was willing to try anything to give him an edge during the tournament, so he put on his bracelet before departing for the course.

When he returned home, I asked how he'd played. "Right now, we're in first place," he reported.

"Wow," I said. "That's great. What if you win?"

"I'd like that," said in his usual, understated Stephen Remler way.

"What's the first prize?" I inquired.

"A gift certificate."

"For what?" I really have to pull answers out of my husband. He's not one to toot his own horn.

"The pro shop."

"For how much?"

"A hundred fifteen dollars, I think," he answered.

Hmm. That sounded like an awful lot of golf for a hundred dollar gift certificate. "How much did you pay to enter the tournament?" I asked.

"A hundred bucks."

Okay. Perhaps he was just playing for the fun of it. And who am I to talk? I took the SAT for the same reason. And Stephen bit his tongue the whole time. So this weekend I bit mine too.

So Saturday morning, after breakfasting on a delightful ham and veggie omelet with pepper jack cheese, Stephen took off, armed with his Power Balance bracelet for the golf course (I can't say for sure, but I think he slept in it). It was a beautiful day, and I hoped he'd have a lot of fun. I expected him to return at about 4:00 or so. He didn't walk in the door until about 6:00. He was carrying a cardboard box.

"How'd you do?" I asked.

"Shammah and I won," he said, pulling a beer out of the fridge.

"You won for your flight?" I asked. "That's great."

"No," he corrected me. "We won the whole thing!" Then he opened his cardboard box and pulled out his trophy: an engraved crystal bowl with a few droplets of beer in it. Apparently at the tournament's end, the players filled the bowl with beer and asked Stephen to drink from it. He says he had only a few sips. I believe him. He prefers a frosty mug.

I thought it was great that he got a bowl along with his gift certificate. But then he pulled a wad of cash out of his pocket. As it turned out, Stephen had placed a few side bets during the weekend. And not only did he and Shammah win the tournament (with scores of 60 on Friday and 62 on Saturday), but the also won all the skins (I don't know what skins are. I suppose they're bets), and he won the closest to the hole on #11, which is a par 3.

That's one powerful bracelet! I think Stephen's golfing skills had more to do with his win, though. One thing's for sure:  he won't have to call around looking for a partner next year!