What I Have Learned About Basketball

I spent a year learning about football. Now that my sixth grader is playing basketball, I must learn that game too. During the SPAL Holiday Tournament, I picked up a few pointers from Stephen and my friends the Kings, Lowenthals and Tisons:

1. A jump ball is when both teams have possession of the ball, so they have to jump to decide who has possession. As it turns out, this is obsolete information. See number 2.
   
2. There's no such thing as a jump ball anymore (Now they tell me).
   
3. No matter how many times the St. James Chargers try it, it is against the rules to hold the ball and wave your elbows around like a turkey on speed.
4. Traveling (or walking) occurs when a player walks while holding the ball instead of dribbling it. However, walking can also occur even when a player isn't walking, i.e. if he's holding the ball and rolling around with it, or if he jumps up with the ball and lands with it instead of throwing it. Players walk all the time, but somehow, referees never see the opposing team doing it. People in the stands, however, can see every offense, and despite their best attempts to assist the officials, those servants in black and white are persistently hard of hearing.
   
5. Typical things to yell at a basketball game: "Get your hands up!" "Set it up!" "Rebound!" and my favorite: "He's packed his bags and taking a trip!"

Below are some fabulous shots of our Rams playing some exciting ball: