Nancy the Fashion Critic

Many thanks to the Academy Awards for ending the program before midnight. Although I'm a little bleary eyed this morning, I'm not cross-eyed from fatigue. Kudos to Meryl Streep, Octavia Spencer, Christopher Plummer, and all the other winners last night. Now enough of that. Let's talk about what people were wearing because I think that's more fun.

As I watched the preceremonial red carpet, I was a little surprised not to see any backward tuxedos or swan dresses, but at the same time Bjork and Helena Bonham Carter were no-shows this year.Still, Hollywood's elite gave us much to talk about. I'll start with the fashion winners:

My highest scores go to Octavia Spencer and Melissa McCarthy. Spencer has looked lovely all during the awards season, and she remained consistent last night in a pale, sequined, form-fitting Tadashi dress. She demonstrated that a woman can be curvy and beautiful at the same time. McCarthy's dress was a refreshing change from her Golden Globes gown, which, to me, was dowdy and tent-like. But last night her crepe number with a jeweled collar and belt glammed up her figure. Both women got A's in my book.

Octavia Spencer

I also give an A to Natlie Portman's strapless red vintage gown. Paired with a v-shaped diamond necklace, her outfit should have worn an award itself. And Viola Davis's green column dress with her natural hair do was stunning. I almost didn't recognize her. Ditching the wig took ten years off her.

Glen Close and Meryl Streep looked okay, but each woman's choice had one aspect to it that made it a little too much. Glen Close, for instance, seemed to be invoking her character Albert Nobbs. Her sleek black fish-tail gown paired with a jacket made her come across as boxy and a little overdone, as if she couldn't decide whether to wear a tux or a gown so she picked both. 

As for Meryl Streep, I was relieved that she wore a design that flattered her figure, a huge step above the disaster that was her Golden Globes dress. In gold lame, she definitely looked like a movie star, but she also looked like Oscar himself. I wondered if those sitting around her felt compelled to don sunglasses. 

Close

Streep

Both actresses earn A's for their work, but in my book, their fashion choices earned B's. 

B- goes to Jessica Chastain. I think I'm a voice alone here. Fashion critics on the news are praising Chastain's gold and black gown, but when I first saw her on the screen, I wrote in my notes, "Buckingham Palace called. They want their tapestries back."

Chastain

A few actresses earned C's in my book. Rooney Mara, for instance, chose a gown that didn't suit her figure, and her hairstyle was too severe for my taste. With her pale complexion and her lean form, this gown make her look like she'd broken into her mother's closet to play dress-up. 

Mara

Jennifer Lopez left me wondering what she was thinking. Again, many fashion critics disagree with me, but this sunburst texture in her fabric, and her sleeves gave the same undecided impression as Glen Close's dress. Sleeves? Sleeveless? Why not both? Here's why not:

No thanks.

In spite of my pickiness with respect to these actresses' styles, only one woman made me ask, "What was she thinking?" And she wasn't someone the paparazzi would clamor to see. Mrs. Colin Firth (I don't even know her first name) earned a D in my fashion grade book. Her red gown earned one point just for covering her up, but to me it looked like a baby doll nightie had sex with an apron. Good thing she didn't have to go on stage.

She is a lovely woman, but the dress has got to go.

Of course, the women are always the targets of the fashion critics, but the men deserve some commentary as well, especially in the shave and haircut department. Brian Grazer, the producer of the Oscars ceremony, looked like he'd stuck his finger in a power outlet. I'm sure there was a dressing room with a comb around there somewhere. Then there was Brad Pitt. Although Angelina Jolie looked like a million bucks, Brad Pitt looked like he threw a tux on five minutes before the ceremony. Would a shampoo and cut have killed him? 

At least Christopher Plummer shaved and combed his hair prior to his big night, but his velvet tuxedo raised my eyebrows. Maybe he pulled it out of his 1973 closet:

Velvet. Hmm. Well, he's 82. He can get away with it. 

By far, though, this was my favorite Oscar gown of the year:

I'm talking about the one in the middle, of course. 

Movie star turned mother superior Dolores Hart wen with the no-fuss approach. With this choice, she didn't have to worry about her hair or figure. And I heard it was a brisk night, so she was also warm enough. Good choice!

Hanway's Famous Invention: The Umbrella

The weather map's been mighty colorful this weekend:

And this morning, as the Remlers made their way to church, then to breakfast, then to the grocery store in the middle of a thunderstorm, I began to ponder then handy device that is the umbrella. 

"It's hard to improve upon the umbrella," I observed on the way home from the Publix. "Think about it. It's been around for centuries, and it hasn't changed very much."

"Really?" Stephen asked. "It's been around for centuries? When was it invented?"

"I don't know," I replied, "But I know people used them in the 1800's. That's centuries ago. Someone out there decided to carry around a little roof over his head to keep himself dry, and we still do it today." 

Then I started to think about all the other technological discoveries that have been improved upon. Take the button, for instance. According to James Burke's book Connections, the button was invented in the fourteenth century (as was knitting): "Both buttons and knitting contributed to closer-fitting clothes that were better at retaining heat. The effect on mortality can be seen in contemporary changes to what was said in wills:  children were expected to survive, and provision was made for them" (161). Hence, because of the button, we all live longer. But over time, we've developed ways to improve upon the button. We now have the snap, the buckle, the zipper, even velcro, all inventions to make fastening more secure and easy. 

Then, of course, there's the fireplace. It's been around almost as long as the fire, but the invention of the chimney changed life as we know it. Before the chimney, "there had been but one central hearth, in the hall during the winter, and outside in summer. The smoke from the central fire simply went up and out through a hole in the roof" (Burke 157). However, once the chimney was discovered, "the center of the room was no longer the only safe place for the fire" (159). People could heat individual rooms, and thus they began to add to their houses. What's more, they began to separate the social classes. But that's just how indoor heating has affected civilization. Just think about how we've improved upon the fireplace over time. True, I still have one in my living room, as many people do, but I don't depend on it for heat. I have my HVAC for that. Instead of depending on wood or coal, many contemporary households use gas-powered ersatz logs, what Davis at five years old termed "the plastic fire." Even chimneys aren't necessary as ventless fireplaces now allow homeowners to enjoy a romantic flame without the inconvenience of that bothersome smoke.  

These days fires are more recreational than essential.

But the umbrella, on the other hand, hasn't changed much since its invention. The materials are different, but the concept is generally the same. Unfortunately, James Burke did not expand upon the umbrella in his captivating book. So I did some online research to find out what I could about this handy invention. I expected to discover that it was at first invented by the Chinese and then Europeans borrowed the idea and called it their own. Actually, I was not far off the mark. 

Thank goodness for William Sangster, who wrote Umbrellas and their History (available in electronic form under Project Gutenberg)! According to Sangster, "The origin of the Parasol is wrapped in considerable obscurity. Some profound investigators have supposed that large leaves tied to the branching extremities of a bough suggested the first idea of the invention. Others assert that the idea was probably derived from the tent, which remains in form unaltered to the present day." But the umbrella itself can be traced back to the ancient Middle East:  "In the Ninevite sculptures the Umbrella or Parasol appears frequently."  Its primary use, however, was to provide shade, not shelter from rain. It was a sign of prestige, even royalty, and continued to signify such as its use spread across Europe. 

However, the umbrella as we know it, the rain guard, is credited to an Englishman named "Jonas Hanway, the founder of the Magdalen Hospital," a philanthropist who dared to carry one in public. Apparently, before Hanway broke the humiliation barrier, folks were embarrassed to be seen walking in the rain under their own personal roofs. However, Hanway, who was known for his advocacy of chimney sweeps and prostitutes, was pale complected and in ill health. Hence, the umbrella not only kept him from the sun's dangerous ultraviolet rays but also kept him dry. 

When it was invented, the umbrella weighed more than ten pounds, probably another reason people were reluctant to carry it around. It was made of whale bone and wood, and often men used them as walking staffs as well as portable roofs. Over time, modifications have improved upon the umbrella. In the late nineteenth century we saw the invention of the self-opening umbrella. Later came the development of the pocket umbrella. 

And as plastics eventually dominated the manufacturing industry, the dome-shaped transparent umbrella served to keep ladies dry while also allowing them to see where they were going: 

 

I always thought such models required windshield wipers.

 

But the essential concept remains the same:  holding a little roof over one's head. So here's to Jonas Hanway and, if not his invention, at least his remarkable bravery to weather (no pun intended) the hoots and jeers of his soaked contemporaries as he remained dry under his portable shelter. I'm especially thankful for him today. 

 

Saturday's Win Win for Rip 10

Lacrosse season is upon us again, and while we'll watch most of the season as Davis plays under the #16 for the Benedictine Cadets, he started the year as #0 on the specialty team RIP 10, which scored big time Saturday during the Ricky McAllaster Lacrosse Classic. RIP 10 defeated Bishop England with a score of 6-0, and immediately afterward reigned victorious over Irmo High School with a score of 11-2. Unfortunately, Sunday's thunderstorms put a halt to the tournament, but not to the lacrosse spirit in the Remler household.

Several Reasons I Like Lacrosse

1. The Action:  Lacrosse is often described as hockey meets soccer. The only familiarity I have with either hockey or soccer is that there are goals and sticks in hockey and there are goals and a field in soccer. So I agree. And like hockey, lacrosse gets really physical. When I first saw the BC boys play, I was shocked to see the players beating on each other with their sticks! How brutal! Now, three years later, I find myself in the stands cheering Davis on:  "Whack him, Davis! Whack him!" Ironically, when Davis is playing defense, I have to bite my tongue when the opposing players take a whack at him. But inside I'm screaming, Don't you hit my boy! But it's not just the physical contact that makes the game exciting. It's the constant motion. Lacrosse doesn't have the stop-and-go structure that football has. The players are constantly running, and I have to play close attention because when someone has possession (the ball is no bigger than a tennis ball), it's sometimes hard to tell where the ball is. Sometimes I have to remind myself that the player with the ball is the one the opposing players are beating on.

2.  The Simplicity:  When a player scores, the team earns one point. It's that simple. I don't have to worry about field goals, foul shots, touch backs or safeties. There's no bonus after five fouls as in basketball. It's just a point per goal. Even I can keep track.

3. More Simplicity:  Davis plays midfield. That means he plays in the middle of the field. The goalie plays--you guessed it--at the goal. After three years of watching football, the only positions I've figured out are the center and the quarterback. I still haven't quite figured out the difference between a tight end and a safety (which is also a way to score). When I watch football, I have to take notes and ask questions later. At lacrosse games, I can follow along.

4. Snazzy Uniforms: I know that's just a matter of aesthetics, but look at these shorts and shirts. I think they're kind of fun.  The only drawback is that players' numbers are only on the backs of shirts, so if players are running my direction, it's hard to tell who's who. I finally figured out who Davis was when Stephen observed that he was the only one wearing ankle socks, so he looked like he didn't have any on. See if you can point him out in the photo below:

4. The Other Parents: They're just fun to talk to in the stands. And I appreciate their patience when I yell, "Whack him, Davis! Whack him!"

We're sorry the weather didn't cooperate for us this weekend, but we have a full season ahead of us, starting this week! Here's to a fun, safe spring. 

Way to go, number 0!

 

 

Harley and the Summer Pasta

Recently my friend Tina Warbington gave me a fantastic pasta recipe. She calls it summer pasta, but I did not want to wait until summer to cook it. It just sounded too good. So when Harley called and said he was coming for a visit Thursday night, I thought that would be the perfect time to try it out.

So Thursday morning, I combined the following ingredients:
1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil (evoo)
1/2 cup (or so) chopped fresh basil
2 garlic cloves cut into chunks
6 tomatoes (okay, I used seven)
1 round of brie cheese with the rind cut off, cut into small chunks

I put all of those ingredients in a bowl and left them to get to know each other while I went to work all day.

Meanwhile, Harley drove to Savannah.Upon arrival, he had a seat in the kitchen, enjoyed a glass of tea, and shared all the news of Hawkinsville. Then Lawson showed off his new Tervis Tumbler.

While they talked, I put a box of bow-tie pasta on to boil. At that point we all agreed that we should invent neck tie pasta to give foodies a little variety in their lives. Next, I sauteed a couple of pounds of shrimp. I thought Clorox was going to go crazy:

 

Once the shrimp was done, I drained the pasta and returned it to the pan. Then I added the shrimp, and the tomato marinade, which had become quite yummy looking. I tossed all the ingredients together, and the heat from the pasta and shrimp melted that brie cheese into a mess of gooey goodness:

Then we all sat down to a hearty meal. Harley was delighted to have dinner with us. Here is is holding a plate of pasta:

 

But when I told him he could eat as much as he wanted, he got really excited:

 

Harley is such a delight to cook for because he enjoys whatever I put in front of him. Here he is this morning enjoying the egg sandwich I made him for breakfast. Davis thought it was a real treat to have his company in the morning: 

So the summer pasta (and the egg sandwich) were a huge success. In fact, I think we'll have to change the name to anytime pasta because I don't think we can wait until June to have it again. Thanks to Tina Warbington for sharing that tasty recipe with us!

Happy Valentine's Day

For Valentine's Day, I thought I'd post one of my favorite online videos. Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!

A Word or Two about Words

Today I received in the mail an article my mother sent me from (I think) The Macon Telegraph. It's titled "Useful, But Not Used" (by Cassandra Spratling of the Detroit Free Press), and it's about a collection of words that have fallen out of use over the years from the English language. Wayne State University, the article says, "has released its fourth annual list of 'remarkably useful words that deserve more chances to enrich our language." This year's list consists of the following words:

• Antediluvian: old fashioned or out of date, based on the Latin words for "before the flood." When I tested my high school senior, the one who took three years of Latin, on this word, he didn't know the meaning. My tuition dollars are hard at work, I see. 
• Erstwhile:  This word means former or bygone, but the article notes this word is rampantly misused. I wonder how it can be rampantly misused if it's hardly used at all. Maybe Wayne State will get back to me on that. 
• Execrable: This is one I have never used. It means atrocious or wretched. Makes sense. The sound of the word is pretty atrocious itself. 
• Frisson:  I had never heard of this word. It means a sudden, involuntary shiver, I guess the kind one experiences when a rabbit runs over his grave. I can see how this word has fallen out of use. Shiver seems to do the trick for most of us. 
• Penultimate: Here's the word I think should be labeled as rampantly misused. I hear sports announcers use the word often when they want to describe a sport or accomplishment that's the epitome of such sports or accomplishments. Actually, it means next to last. 
• Sisyphean:  My Latin student kind of knew this one. He remembered who Sisyphus was. So he gets half a point for that. But because of the mythological context, he guessed the word referred to someone who rolls a rock up a hill. Close. It means endless and futile, such as my attempts to get students to stop using the term back in the day or omigod.
• Supercilious:  My twelve year-old guessed this word meant silly. Nope. It means contemptuous, disdainful, or condescending. I think one would have to be a little supercilious to use the word supercilious, but maybe that's the kind of graduates Wayne State wants to have. 
• Transmogrify:  Everyone in my house defined this word correctly, thanks to years of enthusiasm for the Calvin and Hobbes comic strip. Actually, my twelve year-old missed the definition by just a hair. He thought it meant for someone to turn into a tiger.
• Truckle: It rhymes with buckle, and it kind of means the same thing. To truckle means to kowtow or submit to obsequiously. Someone in the house thought it referred to a baby truck. 

This article was a fun vocabulary lesson, and now that I've refreshed my memory of a few words and learned a few others, maybe I'll actually try to use them in everyday conversation or when I write. And if my son ever decides to attend Wayne State, I'll encourage him to drop some of these little gems into his papers. As I read this list, though, I thought of other words I'd more readily like to see used more often:

• Reduce, alleviate, decrease, ease, or diminish:  I'd like to see any or all of these words in written form to replace the insipid popular use of the verb lessen. When did the adjective less decide to become a verb? There are already a number of more precise verbs hanging in the wings just ready to be used.
• Insipid:  I just like the way it sounds. And so many things in this world fit that descriptor. Like Justin Bieber songs. 
• Feet:  As in the measurement. Too often I hear people refer to how long or tall something is, and they use the singular, as in twenty foot. The plural form is getting a little lonely. 
• Granted:  Too often people, usually young ones, claim that someone has taken them for granite. It makes me think of someone being held ransom for a statue.
• Administer:  I think it sounds so much better than administrate, don't you?
• Thank you: That one can't get used enough. Just sayin'. 

I'm sure many other seldom used words could get added to the Wayne State list. Actually, if any devoted readers have words they'd like to add to the list, they can do so at the Word Warriors website:  http://www.wordwarriors.wayne.edu.